it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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