would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
