btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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