Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
