Say something about gay babies.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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