She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
