Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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