Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize