I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
