Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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