i already hear my dad disowning me
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
