i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
