Three words: puerto rican gang bang
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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