How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize