I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
this hospital has no fireball
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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