So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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