Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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