is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
