ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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