So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
