More tranny stories later!
she woke up with a sticky ear
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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