Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
