found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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