He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
