I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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