Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize