awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
