fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
