i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize