I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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