i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
bring money and cleavage
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
