Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
