Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
