I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
