You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
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Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
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Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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