My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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