i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
