just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
