Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
