How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
