worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
