she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize