Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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