I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We need to feng shui this bitch.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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