All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
there is puke in my bra ... again
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
