We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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