had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
