I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
