I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
