Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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