so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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