Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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