Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
