I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
home. puking in laundry basket.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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