ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I think my moral compass just broke
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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