in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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