You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Let's paint friendship bongs
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
