I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize