he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
