She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
