his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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