Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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