my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
